Why Not Smiling Until Christmas is a Bad Idea

Cultivating a Culture of Civility In Your Classroom from Day One

Photo by A A on Unsplash

One of the suggestions often given to young teachers is not to smile until Fall Break. Or Thanksgiving. Or Christmas. Or ever. 

Which is horrible advice. 

It was the advice I was given as a first year teacher. I ignored it because not smiling isn’t in my personality.  I was a quaky, shaky 23-year-old neophyte with lots to learn, yet ultimately optimistic. I thought I would just show up with my naturally ebullient self and convince students to join my circus. After all, I loved school. Wasn’t everyone just like me?

I managed to shuffle through that first year hell with body and soul barely intact. But I got wise, took the aforementioned advice, and started the year as a complete bitch. I brooked no dissent; I suffered no fools. Wonder of wonders, no one challenged my authority, but I also low key hated myself and my job. I hated frowning all day, for one thing. Eventually one of the counselors came to me and said several of my students were in her office in tears because they were so intimidated by me.

This was not a victory. It hurt my heart. 

By the time I hit my third year, I figured out the middle path - neither loosey-goosey nor evil crone. There was another way!

And lo and behold, it was as old as time: treat your students as you would like to be treated. With respect. With clear expectations. With a smile. With honor for who they are and where they’ve come from. If I wanted to cultivate a culture of civility in my classroom, it started with me modeling the kind of civility I wanted to see in them: engaged, curious, thoughtful, empathetic, kind.

Here are some ways to do that: 

1. Build Positive Relationships

When I’m approachable and caring, students are more likely to feel comfortable participating and engaging in class activities, specifically those activities, like writing, which require great risk. This sense of trust and connection can significantly impact their motivation and willingness to learn. The first few months of school are crucial for this. Learn how to pronounce their names. Reach out to their parents. Learn about their passions and pet projects. Showing genuine interest in the humans in the room establishes a positive rapport, which is essential for creating a supportive classroom atmosphere. 

2. Foster a Safe and Inclusive Environment

Harry Wong seems to have fallen out of favor in recent years (Wear a suit! Greet every child by name!) but he nailed the key to student success. What you do with the first five minutes of each class sets the tone, not your grimacing, yelling, frustrated, exasperated self. Instead, create routines and protocols like “Writing Into the Day” or silent independent reading time that students can depend on. Smiling and displaying positive body language contribute to an atmosphere where students feel safe and included. This is especially important for students who may be struggling with personal issues or who are new to the school. Your demeanor can make a significant difference in how they perceive their place in the community.

3. Model Engagement

Student engagement starts with teacher engagement.  If you hate your job, the students absolutely know it. If you aren’t gassed on the lesson you’re teaching, it’s dead in the water before you start. Students are more likely to be engaged and enthusiastic about their learning when they feel their teacher is invested in their success and actually likes being a teacher. A positive attitude from the teacher can be infectious, leading to a more dynamic and interactive classroom experience.

4. Model Positive Behavior

I want my students to be prompt, so I model punctuality. I want my students to be curious, so I model inquiry and wonder. I want my students to think critically, so I open the top of my head and show them around my frameworks for thinking through problems. When my students see me demonstrating kindness toward everyone, they are more likely to mirror these behaviors in their own interactions because it is the expectation of a culture you, the teacher, have created with your behavior:  In this classroom, we treat each other with respect and understanding.  

5. Give Clear Instructions

Practice giving clear, unambiguous instructions. I cannot stress enough how basic clarity can mitigate behavior issues that start with a student’s frustration about what he’s supposed to be doing. Outside of purposeful and scaffolded creative and productive struggles that are the gateway to building critical thinking, activities that promote student frustration or feel like a “gotcha” proposition instead of a “I get you” support are worthless and damaging. Practice speaking to students as adults, not as babies. They want to be taken seriously. They are having serious thoughts. Support them in this unfamiliar territory by taking them seriously.

In the end, I discovered that my warmth and positivity helped prevent behavioral issues by promoting mutual respect and understanding. When students feel valued and understood, they were more likely to adhere to classroom rules and expectations.

What I recognized is that “Not Smiling until Christmas” is  the management style of a person who doesn’t really believe in their own ability to control a classroom of students and has to lean into meanness to promote learning. Which is fear-based approach which is sure to kill any kind of collaboration, community or creativity.

(Also can you imagine working at a job where you couldn’t smile for five months because you were bluffing the people you worked with into thinking you were a severe, authoritarian disciplinarian when really you were just a goofy nerd who wanted to talk about literature and ideas and poetry and writing?)

I hope you have a kind, fun, thoughtful, and invigorating year!